Those words have troubled me for the better part of a week now. But I feel as though God has given them to me as affirmation of His will. Matthew 26:46 is where they come from. Jesus had led the disciples into the garden to pray, knowing that Judas was about to come betray Him. The disciples, instead of praying, went to sleep out of exhaustion. He encouraged them to stay awake, but they couldnt. So when He was finished praying, He goes to them and says 'get up; let's go'.
My concern has been that I slept through something important. Something that I cant go back and revisit. They couldnt go back and pray for Jesus, it was too late. But when I read Oswald Chambers application of this scripture, my perspective changes from concern to encouragement.
My Utmost for His Highest contains this simple paragraph:
'There will be experiences like this in each of our lives. We will have times of despair caused by real events in our lives, and we will be unable to lift ourselves out of them. The disciples, in this instance, had done a downright unthinkable thing— they had gone to sleep instead of watching with Jesus. But our Lord came to them taking the spiritual initiative against their despair and said, in effect, "Get up, and do the next thing." If we are inspired by God, what is the next thing? It is to trust Him absolutely and to pray on the basis of His redemption.'
Jesus was leading to the next thing. He spoke against discouragement and despair, offering instead refocus and direction. He has shown me where the next thing is (its here, btw), so I will trust Him absolutely to direct my actions and walk with Him into what the next thing is.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Light of Perspective
I've been watching Ella in church these past few weeks. I see her react to what goes on around her. Asking questions. Singing. Showing her muscles. Listening to CI sing and saying 'that was cool'. Seeing how 'normal' she is takes me back to the days I wondered if we would take her home at all, let alone take her to church. So I'd like to remind us all of how great God has been in her particular case.
When she was born so prematurely (24 weeks 5 days, 1lb 12oz) there were some dark days. Her doctors talked about living hour by hour. If we made it through one, we'd talk about the next. Her brain bled the day after she was born. Outside a level 4. She had heart surgery in Dallas at 2+ lbs. Back to Shreveport and schedule eye surgery. Her lungs were so fragile and every breath was breathed for her by various machines, switching to the one she would respond to best. We are fully aware that we almost lost her too many times to count.
But in those dark days, there were promises made. We searched scripture and prayed for strength. I remember hearing myself on the phone, the day after she was born, telling a friend that if we had her for the next 24 hours or if were allowed to raise her, we'd glorify God either way. Psalm 139 and John 17 were sources of strength. One night in particular, I was in the NICU with her, studying and praying when her O2 levels began to drop. The nurse came in to stimulate her, but she didnt respond. She called the respiratory therapist and they began to 'bag' her. I watched her go from pink in color, to blue, purple and black. All the while there was the oddest peace over me, as tho God was letting me know that His hands were working through the hands of those working on her. He was proving to be faithful in keeping His promises.
When we started talking about coming home, the dr's began to let us know the kind of problems we should expect. They talked about her being blind, because of the amounts of oxygen she had been on. The talked about her being deaf because of the brain bleed. She had failed every hearing test up to that point. They talked about her physical disabilities relating to cerebral palsy. And they talked about mental retardation. It was a lot to take in, but, even though it was a shock to our system, we still walked in a quiet confidence because we knew God was ultimately in control. And He had made promises.
Ella has since had intestinal and brain surgeries, both to deal with complications. She has had numerous hearing and eye tests. She has had speech, physical and occupational therapies. Once again, God has led us to allow people to be His hands.
Her hearing is fine, she wears glasses for astigmatism and sees fine, she walks, runs and climbs, and is a very smart, witty little girl. She adores her big brothers (when they are out of sight she asks 'where are the brothers?'). Our church family sees her as their little girl.
So even though the days surrounding her birth and the first coupla months of her life were filled with dark days, looking back there was light by which to walk. It just took getting some perspective to see it.
When she was born so prematurely (24 weeks 5 days, 1lb 12oz) there were some dark days. Her doctors talked about living hour by hour. If we made it through one, we'd talk about the next. Her brain bled the day after she was born. Outside a level 4. She had heart surgery in Dallas at 2+ lbs. Back to Shreveport and schedule eye surgery. Her lungs were so fragile and every breath was breathed for her by various machines, switching to the one she would respond to best. We are fully aware that we almost lost her too many times to count.
But in those dark days, there were promises made. We searched scripture and prayed for strength. I remember hearing myself on the phone, the day after she was born, telling a friend that if we had her for the next 24 hours or if were allowed to raise her, we'd glorify God either way. Psalm 139 and John 17 were sources of strength. One night in particular, I was in the NICU with her, studying and praying when her O2 levels began to drop. The nurse came in to stimulate her, but she didnt respond. She called the respiratory therapist and they began to 'bag' her. I watched her go from pink in color, to blue, purple and black. All the while there was the oddest peace over me, as tho God was letting me know that His hands were working through the hands of those working on her. He was proving to be faithful in keeping His promises.
When we started talking about coming home, the dr's began to let us know the kind of problems we should expect. They talked about her being blind, because of the amounts of oxygen she had been on. The talked about her being deaf because of the brain bleed. She had failed every hearing test up to that point. They talked about her physical disabilities relating to cerebral palsy. And they talked about mental retardation. It was a lot to take in, but, even though it was a shock to our system, we still walked in a quiet confidence because we knew God was ultimately in control. And He had made promises.
Ella has since had intestinal and brain surgeries, both to deal with complications. She has had numerous hearing and eye tests. She has had speech, physical and occupational therapies. Once again, God has led us to allow people to be His hands.
Her hearing is fine, she wears glasses for astigmatism and sees fine, she walks, runs and climbs, and is a very smart, witty little girl. She adores her big brothers (when they are out of sight she asks 'where are the brothers?'). Our church family sees her as their little girl.
So even though the days surrounding her birth and the first coupla months of her life were filled with dark days, looking back there was light by which to walk. It just took getting some perspective to see it.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove...
From John Wesley in regard to relationships that allow God to be glorified, even if the other party would like to harm us:
Let us neither absolutely refuse all favours, nor resent all neglects, from those whose friendship is at best very doubtful, and their intimacy by no means safe.
We, like Christ in the house of the Pharisees, can still be gentle and point all to the truth. Are you in a hostile environment? Let the gentleness of Luke 7 encourage you.
Let us neither absolutely refuse all favours, nor resent all neglects, from those whose friendship is at best very doubtful, and their intimacy by no means safe.
We, like Christ in the house of the Pharisees, can still be gentle and point all to the truth. Are you in a hostile environment? Let the gentleness of Luke 7 encourage you.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Of guilt and grace
Listening to Jack Graham this morning after dropping Ella off with my mom. He was preaching through the model prayer (the Lord's prayer), then as an encouragement at the end of his message, he spoke of the discipline of prayer. Basically his take is we cant be guilted into a prayer life. We have to catch a glimpse of how God's grace is poured on us when we line our lives up with Him.
Whether its the removal of sin, prayer, obedience, faithfulness, or self-control, when we align any and all parts of our lives up with him, His grace is poured on us. He gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud. Guilt is that limited motivator that eventually drives us away from the source. Grace (particularly, God's grace) is the LIMITLESS motivator that draws us ever closer to the God that loves us. Man that's refreshing!
Whether its the removal of sin, prayer, obedience, faithfulness, or self-control, when we align any and all parts of our lives up with him, His grace is poured on us. He gives grace to the humble, but opposes the proud. Guilt is that limited motivator that eventually drives us away from the source. Grace (particularly, God's grace) is the LIMITLESS motivator that draws us ever closer to the God that loves us. Man that's refreshing!
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