Ramblings

The next few have been written over a month or so, as motivated to do so:

The God of mercy offers comfort. Part of the mercy He gives me is in the form of comfort. Comfort is needed in times when I dont know. When He hasnt revealed. Comfort is the peace that knows He is still in control. The circumstances may still hurt, but peace is there. That's comfort.

What's the deal with discipline? Why dont I have any of the 'self' variety? I can know what is needed or right or good and still talk myself out of choosing that way. Discipline always makes me think of the drill sergeant mentality. I dont think it really is though. I think discipline is more of a quiet resolve to do the right thing. I need that quiet resolve.

So everything I experience is for the comfort and/or salvation of others. My life is only valid when I have poured myself out to Him and into others. The exhaustion of being spent and used up as fuel for someone else is oddly gratifying. And when I'm not being spent or poured out everything begins to feel oddly empty. I'll take exhausted over empty any day.

Waiting is one of the hardest things I'm ever asked to do. But only on a spiritual level. Waiting in line at Six Flags with my friends is no problem. Waiting for the next Pink Panther movie to come out, again, no problem. Waiting on God seems to be the big struggle. Maybe if I'd spend the waiting time growing in Him instead of complaining or wishing time to pass the waiting would be more pleasant. I need to grow that way.